How to Be Alone

Howdy friends,

Happy Father’s Day! Welcome to June!! We are halfway through 2025! What an odd thing to look back at and feel like everything is moving so fast yet so slowly. Anyone else feel that way? I hope everyone is having a joyous June and enjoying the move from spring to summer. I hope you are all going out and feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin and souls. My love of Maine has yet to wane, if anything it only grows stronger with each passing day. Yes, the weather is a bit wild, but we are finally moving into some warmth, and I have taken every opportunity to be outside and feel the sun (my Chaco tan is getting quite impressive if I do say so myself). Maine is in the height of spring and the lupine are blooming everywhere you look, which you should look up the story of how lupine came to Maine, it’s a very cute story. Anyways, let’s get into it, grab a cup and let’s chat.

As I have been on this journey of being alone and reacquainting myself with, well, myself, this leaves me to the company of me, myself, and I majority of the time. Which I do not mind. I do things alone all of the time. And it does not bother me because 1: I quite enjoy being with myself, 2: most of my favorite activities are solo activities (reading, writing, etc), and 3: I am on a journey of discovering what makes me, me. What I enjoy doing and what that means and why. I am on a journey of discovering and introspection. I see no issue with this since people can only meet others as deeply as they have met themselves, and I am trying to know myself the deepest so that I may grow into a person that I am proud of and bring that light and confidence to others around me. Now, I do get lonely sometimes, I do miss people, but I have absolutely lovely humans that I spend time with a lot. But obviously loneliness is a normal thing and seeking companionship is a natural human desire. We are social creatures after all, but that does kind of put a damper on the whole “find what makes you, you goal” So here is a little look into what I do to combat this… romanticize your life. I know, what does that mean. Let me break it down. I take myself on dates. Anytime I go do something, I turn it into an adventure and I just tell myself that I am going on a date… with myself. I go do whatever I want by myself majority of the time, and I love it. Like today, I went to a play. Alone. I was literally in the front row, with empty seats on the rest of the row, by myself. And I loved every minute of it. Because I turned it into something fun and beautiful. It was not a “oh wow this looks weird by me sitting here alone” It was “wow what a super exciting way to see a play, I have never had this experience before” and this is the secret to enjoying time alone. I do this all the time. I do pretty meaningless roadtrips by myself, I go to movies by myself, I go to dinner alone, I go camping alone. And I have an absolutely wonderful time.

But Natalee, isn’t it a little uncomfortable to be by yourself surrounded by people who are not alone? It was, I’ll admit, it was odd in the beginning. But I have been implementing this tactic into my life for a bit now, and let me tell you, it doesn’t bother me much anymore. I have discovered things that I truly, deeply enjoy and have negated the whole anxiety of hoping the other person that I am with is having a good time. I make an effort for myself. I have fallen in love with my life, and I think this is something we can all do to make our lives just a touch better. It is easier than you think to turn the silliest things into a fun activity. You have to make dinner? Turn up some music, dance around, light some candles, now you’re making dinner in a disco. You have to drive to a different city for an appointment? Not anymore. Roll the windows down, put on the music that you are nervous other people would not like, go to the mall or the bookstore after your appointment, now you have made a pretty not fun task, into something to look forward to. It is all about the way you frame the task at hand. It is easy to fall into the mundane, to get into the roll of everyday life and ignore any spontaneity, and that is completely valid. But I am asking you to add some excitement. The older I get, the more I realize excitement is something that fades throughout life, unless you make a conscious effort to do so. You can make anything exciting and I think we all need a reminder of that sometimes.

I have come to embrace the chaos that is me. I am aware that I the way I am, the way I think, the way I move through life, is incredibly chaotic and I have always wished that I was not. (Like right now, I currently have three different paragraphs that have different things being talked about and do not flow in any sort of way, but you will never know by the time this comes out) I wished that I was more stable and chilled out and not someone who has to bounce around to different things, someone who was okay with the flow. But, I have reached a point where I find this part of myself incredibly intriguing. This energy that I carry is a lot. It is a bunch of half-finished ideas and random tasks and just a bunch of nonsense to the untrained eye. But I have come to realize this is actually a really stunning part of my personality, it is where my creativity comes from, it is where my independence and adventurousness begin. It is an aspect that I am tending to and watching it flourish. Instead of trying to cover it up, break it down, subdue it, I am giving it the room to cultivate. How? I have many different projects going on. Always. I am constantly finding things that interest me and instead of squashing it and having a strict hand on myself on what I can and cannot do, I allow it to grow. A month ago, I found a contest for writing, and immediately knew that I wanted to do it. And instead of giving into the fear of actually writing a piece of fiction and having a complete stranger read and judge it, I heard the tiny voice that really wanted to give it a shot. I submitted my story yesterday. I am terrified, but also proud of myself for taking one small step closer to a big lifetime goal. Same thing for going to the play today. Same thing for going camping alone. Same thing for beginning taking more videos and pictures. Instead of giving into the fear of being perceived that has ruled my life for far too long, I am beginning to embrace it. I want to see what I can become whenever I am alone and able to do pretty much anything I want, so that I am able to look back and see where I came from and the person I have become. This is how I will fully know myself. This is how I will accomplish my New Years theme of discovery. And this is how I will welcome myself home. And accept any version of her that grows.

This is your reminder to bring some light into your everyday life. We get caught up in the normalcy, don’t. Allow your creativity to flow. Allow yourself some excitement. Bring some of the summer sunshine inwards. You deserve it. We all deserve it. And who knows, maybe you’ll discover something about yourself that you never knew before.  Take yourself on a date. Do that thing that you are nervous to do. Accept your own chaos. And definitely tell me about it, I will always support you in your endeavors. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being here. And most importantly, I hope to see you out there.

-          N