Still Becoming
July 15, 2025
Howdy everyone,
Welcome to mid July! My birth month, the dog days of summer, the month of shark week, and the month where national ice cream day is held. Wonderful things to celebrate this month. I hope everyone's July has been filled with warmth, prosperity, and lots and lots of sunscreen. Here in Maine it is almost always sunny and the perfect days for lazy days on the beach, which is a nice change of pace and when I feel at my best, surrounded by the sunlight, ocean and forests in this magnificent state. I have been thinking about the topic that I have wanted to discuss for quite a while so lets dive right in and chit chat for a bit.
Today is July 15, 2025. It is the midpoint of the summer, it is the midpoint of my season here in Maine, and it is the midpoint of my birth month. The inspiration for this writing today comes from a video on tiktok, which I will post before this writing so that you have the chance to watch it and sit with it before this writing comes out. I have held onto this inspiration since June 29 when it came across my feed and I knew that this is what I wanted to discuss. July has always been a very reminiscent month for me. It is a time for me to look back on my years on this Earth and a way for me to compare my growth and future. The video that came across my tiktok fyp hit me. Hard. It is a simple video but it covers everything that I reflect on during this month. It covers growth, change, priorities, shifts within a person. And that is what I will be discussing.
I will go ahead and throw in a warning that this post is different. It is not as happy go lucky but more of an emotional moment where I am looking back at different versions of myself, don't worry, I am still happy and grateful to be here and I am truly okay.
“Most people don't realize how many versions of themselves we've already left behind. The person you were five years ago? You barely recognize them now. Different fears. Different priorities. Different people you thought you'd never lose. You've outgrown places you once called home.”
The video begins by stating that people don't realize how many versions of themselves they've already left behind. Let's sit with that for a moment. And I mean really sit with it. Let it dig into you and wrap around your mind and memories and think about all the ways we evolve within a relatively short span of time. 5 years. I was 18. I was about to be 19 and in a very serious way, had absolutely no clue what I was doing. I was in a relationship, I was living alone, I was in school for a degree that I do not have, and I was working jobs that I did not like. And I thought that was it. That girl that was trying to figure out her place in the world. And for the life of me I couldn't understand what was wrong. Why I never felt fulfilled or happy or just peaceful. Why every waking moment was a fight within myself between what I wanted versus what I was chasing. I barely recognize her now. And honestly, that is okay. She is still with me. She still makes herself known, in the moments when I choose something else over what I want, I hear her. I feel her begging to be seen, to not be ignored and to continue choosing what I want instead of diminishing myself. I love her, but I am not her anymore. I have outgrown her. I have evolved. My fears have shifted, my priorities have shifted. And she is there, still giving me the bravery to realize that I am what I am now because of who she was then.
“Growth doesn't announce itself. You don't wake up one morning fully healed. Fully changed. It happens quietly. In conversations you no longer tolerate. In boundaries you finally set. In the peace you start protecting without apology”
This is the point in the video where my eyes started becoming teary. Because I have never heard it said so eloquently. Growth is quiet, it is gradual, and one day you wake up and realize that you are different now than you were 5… 3… 1… years ago. 18. 20. 22. Each more different than the last. Each important in their own right. Each harboring feelings and wanting of more. More… anything. And this is where the growth starts showing. I can look back at each of these ages of mine and have a soft spot in my heart for who I am becoming now because of them. Because of their different fears, their different priorities, yet they all had the same want. To be more, to experience more, to feel more. And that is still what I am wanting. More. In a different version. I have healed from 18. I have healed from 20. I am still healing from 22. But each of them pushed me to be who I am today with their desire for simply more. I have become more sure of myself. The woman I am today is not the one I was at 22. I have evolved. And this is such a beautiful thing to watch. Which is why July will always be a special month to me, not because it is simply my birthday, but it gives me the chance to look back at where I came from, where I am now, and gives me hope for the future of what I will become. I have accepted parts of myself I thought I never would. I have outgrown places and people and things that I thought were permanent, and yet here I am. Happier. More at peace with myself. Becoming someone each of these ages would be proud of.
“The version of you reading this right now, even this person will feel distant because you're still becoming. Still evolving into someone your past self wouldn't even believe.”
This is the perfect summation of why I am the way I am. This is the perfect way to describe the journey I am on and what the theme of 2025 has truly been. The version of myself now is important. But she is still going to become someone I will hardly recognize within the future. Let me be with her while I am her. Let me appreciate this time and the version I am now before she too is a fleeting memory. I am proud of myself in a sense of what I have accomplished. I am achieving things I never thought were going to be a part of my story, but were always dreams of mine. I am stepping into myself. And the past versions of myself are the beginning point of who I am now. I am still becoming. What a perfect way to say that. We are all still becoming. Regardless of age, we are all still shedding our past selves and working towards making ourselves happy and what we want to be. This is human nature. To be stagnant is to be finished, and our stories are never truly finished. I want to still become everything that I dream of. And I want to appreciate every version of myself that comes along with that.
I know this post is different. It’s more personal. It is more emotional (at least to me). But I write this as a call to you. Look back at your past selves. Sit with them. Listen to them. They have led you to this moment that you are in now. And even who you are now, what you are doing in your life, what you are working toward, what you are accomplishing, even this version will be a memory. Have your moment. Appreciate it. And appreciate what you went through to be who you are now. You are still becoming. This is me giving you a resting point to just… be.
I wish you all the most warmth and joy for the rest of July. And always and forever, I hope to see you out there.
Natalee